Why does bread always fall buttered side down?

I thought about this briefly this morning.  Why, you ask?   Er, why?  (I’m making you ask).

This is what transpired (pompous word of the day).

I’m making a bagel for breakfast.  I toast it, a bit overdone but still eatable.

I’m standing at the counter in front of the toaster spreading cream cheese on my two bagel halves.

The pack is standing guard around me, protecting my bagel (begging).

First half cheesed, second half in progress and my hand slips.

The knife hits the plate and both bagel halves, and the plate, fly into the air.

I scream like a little girl as I see my breakfast on its way to destruction.

But, what happens?

My manly scream startles the pack and they back off, staring at me.

The plate hits the floor and doesn’t break.

Both bagel halves hit the floor, cream cheese side UP!

The pack is still startled from my exclamation of surprise and they are slow to react.

I bend down and retrieve my bagel halves (and the plate next).

The five second rule firmly in mind I set them back on the plate and look for damage.


I look closer.


No cream cheese on the floor, cabinet or self.

It’s a miracle.

I finish my preparation and come back to the office to eat (and tell this story).

It’s going to be a good day.


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